Silly

This morning I recieved the following email from our six year old:

Papa signed up. I am telling you that Papa signed up for a test about being silly. This is for you, Mommy. Guess what, Mommy. It's six long. Two classes for six. We both get halves.

Love,
Josiah

Here is Al's explanation:

(Josiah says I need to take a class to learn how to be silly. He and you will teach me how to tickle. My first class is 8:00 on Sunday).

I love the way kids think!

Hopes Dashed?

I had hoped that we could raise both of our kids without either of them breaking any bones. On Wednesday, my hopes we dashed. While I was in the shower (of all places!) Elijah pulled the sofa table over and broke his foot. After hearing Elijah's cries I quickly dried off while asking Josiah to check on Elijah and tell me why he was crying. After a couple of seconds Josiah yelled, "Oh oh! The table is knocked over!" I put on a robe and ran downstairs as fast as I could.

Elijah was sitting on the floor, wailing, a couple of feet from the sofa table which was on its side. I, astute observer that I am, quickly deduced that he had pulled the table and hurt himself. I immediately pulled Elijah into my lap, comforting him while checking for injuries. His left foot was slightly swelled and had bruise across the top. Elijah stopped crying after a couple of minutes and tried to toddle off, but he fell down crying when he put weight on his foot.

I brought Elijah upstairs and convinced Josiah to get dressed. I called our pediatrician and they said to bring Elijah straight to the ER. So I bundled the kids up and drove to the ER where we spent the remainder of the morning. Both kids were remarkably well behaved. Elijah stopped crying in the car and was content to sit in his stroller and look at books. Josiah read books, colored and said things to cheer me up. At one point Josiah said that he had stubbed his toe and then told the nurse, "Don't worry. I don't need first aid." They were able to x-ray Elijah's foot without taking him out of the stroller. After more waiting the doctor confirmed that Elijah's foot was fractured and he would need a cast.

I took Elijah to the orthopaedist and they put a little, light blue cast on Elijah's foot. The fracture is in a good place (not a growth plate) and should heal in approximately four weeks. I the cast might slow Elijah down for a couple of weeks, but he's already figured out how to get around with the cast. He's also learning how to use the cast as a weapon (Al said Elijah kicked him this afternoon).

After getting home from the hospital, I immediately set my alarm clock for 6:40 (half an hour before the kids usually wake up) in an attempt to avoid similar situations in the future. Today Elijah woke up at 6:20 a.m. Go figure.

So we can cross broken bones off the list of things I hope to avoid. The longer I live, the more things I have to cross of this list. The interesting thing is, the more the things I fear happen,
the more I learn that God is able to help us through any and every situation. As I reflected back on the day Wednesday evening, I realized that I experienced God most that day while taking care of Elijah and his foot. I know that God is with me always, but I am most aware of his presence when I am in need. My hopes to avoid any broken bones was dashed, but God, my true hope, will never fail.

We Are One!

Last night I was talking with Al about our Valentine's Day plans. I was asking if I should tell him my plans or if he wanted it to be a surprise. "Oh," he says, "Well, I have plans too. Is your plan something we could schedule, like I do mine and then you do yours or something." Since my plan wasn't really easy to schedule I decided to simply tell him.

"I'm borrowing a friend's fondue set and thought we could wait to eat dinner until after the kids are in bed. Is that okay?" He looked at me kind of funny. "Won't that work with your plan?" I asked. He hemmed and hawed for a few minutes and eventually left. He came back with a large gift bag.

"Oh no!" I cried. "You got me a fondue set?!" I opened the gift and he had indeed got me a Hershey's fondue set with a bag of chocolate. "I even have a little list of all the foods I was going to buy to go with this; large marshmallows, pound cake, angel food cake..." I pulled a crumpled piece of paper from my pocket, "You mean something like this?" My list of supplies was very similar to his.

What can I say, after ten years of marriage we really are one! And this isn't the first time something like this has happened. We both got each other the same card on our first wedding anniversary.

Elijah's Favorite Activities

Elijah loves videos! He is particularly fond of Blue's Clues, The Wiggles and one particular episode of Barney. His favorite activity with the videos is watching them. He is fully capable of finding a video, putting it into the TV/VCR, stopping, rewinding, fast-forwarding and ejecting videos. His second favorite activity (or perhaps a frustrating by-product of his favorite) is pulling the videos off the shelf, out of their cases and onto the floor.

Another of Elijah's favorite activities is pulling toys out of the toy bin and pushing them into the space under the piano keyboard. If we want to play the piano at our house, we first have to kick all of the toys out of the way (or, if we're really energetic, put them back into the toy bins). The other day I spent 20 minutes putting all of the toys back into their bins. Then, while I was making lunch, Elijah emptied all of the toys right back under the piano.

And finally, Elijah has taken to throwing his plate of food across the kitchen when he doesn't like something or is finished eating. This frustrates Al even more than it does me (wasting food is worse than making a mess to him).

Some days I am incredibly frustrated by Elijah's seeming to desire to make large messes. I am not fond of putting 30 videos back into their cases and onto the shelves and am even less fond of sorting toys into bins and wiping spaghetti sauce off the floor. And doing any of these two or three times a day can be close to torture. On other days I am too preoccupied to take much notice. I end up cleaning the messes either way (which is not to say that Al doesn't clean up messes too, just that I clean up the messes Elijah makes while I'm watching him).

On good days, I am able to focus on Elijah enough so that he is occupied with more useful tasks like putting together puzzles, identifying words and objects or pretending to cook. I wish I had the time and energy to focus on Elijah all of the time, but that simply isn't possible. There are meals to cook, floors to clean and other people in my family who need me. Actually, I'm thankful that Elijah is able to play on his own and doesn't demand constant attention. Now, if I can just encourage him to clean up the house instead of making messes... hmmm, I suspect that won't be happening any time soon though.

Books

I was recently tagged by Llama Momma to list some favorite books. I have a hard time choosing favorites whether it's movies, songs or books (it's too hard to decide on just one!), but here is my list.

1. One book that changed your life:
The Story of Christian Theology by Roger Olson. This is the book that convinced me to attend seminary. I read a TON of fiction after graduating from college. I picked this book up shortly after it was published in 1999 and enjoyed it so much I thought, "Hey, if I enjoy reading about historical theology, maybe I should go back to school!" And that's exactly what I did. One result of attending seminary was that we decided to become Anglicans. And thus, my life was changed.

2. One book that you have read more than once:
Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis

3. One book you would want on a desert island:
Other than The Bible (NLT), I would like to have The Chronicles of Narnia by C. S. Lewis.

4. Two books that made you laugh:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Waterson (actually, any Calvin and Hobbes books make me laugh)

5. One book that made you cry:
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

6. One book you wish you'd written:
I have no idea. Sorry.

7. One book you wish had never been written:
Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. I'm not sure why I read this. The story was somewhat interesting, but a lot of the scenes were not edifying and I probably would have been better off never reading the book.

8. Two books you are currently reading:
The Attentive Life by Leighton Ford
The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields

9. One book you've been meaning to read:
Water from a Deep Well by Gerald L. Sittser


I think I'm supposed to tag some more people, so now it's your turn Becky and Lisa! Have fun ;)

Getting Ready

Elijah will celebrate his third birthday in April. He will also begin preschool. Last week we met with a representative from our school district to discuss the transition from Early Intervention to Early Childhood (preschool), from an Individualized Family Service Plan (IFSP) to an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). The meeting went well and I look forward to working with the school district to help Elijah reach his full potential in school.

When I talk with other families about their experiences creating an IEP with their school district, I sometimes get the sense that their relationship with the school district is somewhat adversarial. It almost seems as if the families expect the school district to give them a bad deal and to deny services that their children need. I am choosing to enter the process assuming that the school district wants to work with us to provide the services Elijah needs. I have to believe that the teachers, therapists and other professionals involved in early childhood education want what is best for all of the children in their care. We may not always agree about what specific services should be offered, but I hope to build a relationship of mutual trust and respect where we can discuss differing opinions without animosity.

I truly want what is best for Elijah and am prepared to advocate for services I think he really needs. At the same time, I think building a good relationship with the school district is important to this goal. If I am pleasant and willing to work with the district to coordinate Elijah's education, I am hopeful that the district will do whatever they can to return the favor. If I am angry and difficult to work with before we even have a disagreement, I can't imagine that they will be eager to work with me. Advocating for my child does not necessarily mean I have to put up a good fight. It does mean I have to know my child, including his strengths and weaknesses, and communicate those things effectively. It also means understanding the IEP process and our families legal rights and doing my best to form a good working relationship with those involved so we can work together to meet Elijah's needs.

The next few months should be interesting. Elijah will be assessed by a team of professionals who will probably focus on his weaknesses more than his strengths (they are, after all, determining if he needs extra help). Once they determine if Elijah is eligible for services, we will meet to discuss which services he needs, to create goals for his education and then to create specific plans on how to reach those goals. And at the end of it all I have to send Elijah off to preschool. I am sure preschool will be very good for him, but I'm glad I have another few months to get used to the idea. Sending Josiah to school for the first time was hard. This will be harder.

"Beneficial"

I not usually outspoken about my pro-life views, but once in a while I come across something that strikes me as worth commenting about. For example, I just came across an article that was published in June that reported:

Nice, France: Non-invasive screening of pregnant women with ultrasound early in pregnancy, combined with maternal blood analysis, has reduced the number of children born in Denmark with Down Syndrome by 50%, a scientist will tell the annual conference of the European Society of Human Genetics today. Professor Karen Brøndum-Nielsen, of the Kennedy Institute, Glostrup, Denmark, will say that another benefit of the introduction of this procedure in her country was a drop in the number of invasive pre-natal diagnostic procedures from 11% to approx. 6% of pregnancies.
Noninvasive screening in early pregnancy reduces Down's births by 50 percent

What the article doesn't say is that the 50% reduction in the number of children born with Down Syndrome in Denmark must be due to abortion. I already know that a high percentage of babies who are diagnosed with Down Syndrome prior to birth are aborted (I have read percentages as high as 80% to 90%).

What disturbs me most about the above quote is the assumption that a reduction in children born with Down Syndrome is beneficial. I wonder if researchers would make the same claim about other diagnoses that are given after birth. For example, would we consider a 50% reduction in those who suffer from cancer to be beneficial if the only cure was to euthanize those who are diagnosed? I don't think so.

I wish we were less concerned about reducing the number of people with disabilities and more concerned about valuing all people and doing our best to provide people with the opportunity to live fulfilling lives. I wish we could focus less on what people are not able to do and more on what they can do. I wish all families who receive a pre-natal diagnosis had more opportunities to meet other families who have children with a similar diagnosis and to see that the things we imagine are often worse than the reality.

I think we are too quick to dismiss our own strength and our ability to handle situations we never thought we could. While I was pregnant with Elijah I did not think I could handle a child with a disability. When we received Elijah's pre-natal diagnosis of Down Syndrome I kept saying, "This is not what I wanted. This is not what I planned for our lives!" I thought caring for a special-needs child would take all of the joy out of life and leave us exhausted and weary. I could not have been more wrong.

Elijah is two and half now and brings us much more joy than frustration. Yes, sometimes we get tired, but who doesn't get tired when they have toddlers?! Elijah's laugh lights up the room and and his hugs melt my heart. Caring for Elijah has been different than caring for his older brother, but it has not been nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I'm so very glad Elijah is a part of our family and would never in a million years consider his death to be beneficial.

Happy Birthday to Me

I turn 33 years old today. While this is not a particularly significant age, it has been a year of tens. I celebrated my tenth wedding anniversary and my tenth anniversary of working at InterVarsity Press this year. So I've been thinking about how my life has changed in the past ten years.

Ten years ago, today, I was at my first InterVarsity Christian Fellowship Staff Conference, which Al and I left early to attend Les Miserables in Chicago. I had graduated from college and got married in May 1997 and was still newly married and very newly employed with InterVarsity Press as an Editorial Assistant. We were living in our first apartment with used furniture and a bunch of brand new dishes and such from the wedding. We only owned a few movies and they were all VHS. We regularly rented movies from Family Video and spent most of our evenings watching movies or reading books.

Now I am the Rights Manager at InterVarsity Press. I work fewer hours, but travel more often. Now we have two kids, one in Kindergarten and the other getting ready to start preschool. Our spoons are scratched up from getting stuck in the garbage disposal and our first set of dishes was so chipped we recently replaced them with something durable enough for our kids to drop without breaking or chipping them. We are living in our second townhouse and the furniture we bought eight years ago looks okay, but is showing wear and tear (We bought the furniture before we had kids. It's all white. Well, actually, it used to be all white). Our media cabinet is overflowing, mostly with Blue's Clues, Wiggles and Signing Time DVDs and videos. We check out the movies we want to watch from the library and spend our evenings watching movies or reading books (some things don't change!)

Within the past ten years I have earned a Master of Arts degree, endured two pregancies (one fairly easy and one somewhat difficult), attended too many funerals and learned a lot about copyright issues, Down Syndrome and worship. My prayer life has grown along with my concern for orphans and those who are treated unjustly and I have grown a little less greedy and little more patient (although God is still working on these issues within me).

All in all, I am incredibly thankful. I have a wonderful husband, two terrific kids, a loving and supportive extended family, good friends, a job I enjoy and excel at and a church we love. Life has taken some different turns than I expected and sometimes has been very difficult, but God has extended his grace and peace to me in the ordinary and extraordinary events of life. I look forward to seeing what the next ten years will bring and trust that God will be my strength and peace whatever twists and turns life may take.

Is That a Toothbrush In Your Ear?

While getting ready for work this morning I glanced at my husband, Al. For a second I thought he was on the phone. No. He was holding a tooth brush to his ear. (To his ear, not in his ear). I was getting ready to call a psychiatrist for him when I realized that he was trying to listen to our six-year olds new toothbrush play the "Star Wars" theme song.

Merry Christmas 2007

Advent greetings to you! We hope that this finds you well and that you have had a good 2007. The highlight of our year was our tenth anniversary in May. Since we’ve not vacationed much since the kids came along, we celebrated with a weeklong Hawaiian cruise! We went to five ports on four islands and visited landmarks like Volcanoes National Park, Waimea Canyon and Pearl Harbor. We tried every shipboard restaurant and Al snapped over 800 pictures. We were told, “You don’t look old enough to have been married ten years,” which we took as a compliment.

We both continue our work at InterVarsity Press, Al as an acquisitions and development editor, Ellen as rights manager. This month marks Ellen’s tenth year at IVP. We’ve done the usual mix of conferences and travel, including things in California, New England, Atlanta, Madison and Ellen’s fifth trip to Germany for the Frankfurt Book Fair.

Al did some speaking around the themes of his book The Suburban Christian, including workshops at the National Pastors Convention and the Willow Creek Group Life Conference. He also spoke at Homecoming at our undergrad alma mater, Crossroads College in Rochester, MN, and we had fun reconnecting with friends and faculty. Al has also been invited to be a regular columnist for Christianity Today in 2008! No, he’s not bumping Chuck Colson or Philip Yancey off of the back page. Al will have a one-year stint with a bimonthly column, “Kingdom Sightings,” with a general theme of looking for signs of the kingdom of God at work in culture and society. Look for his first column in the February 2008 issue.

Ellen started blogging regularly and has claimed our family blog for herself. See teamhsu.blogspot.com for her posts, many of which relate amusing episodes with our kids. She continues to lead and plan worship at our church and now also uses sign language for the lyrics to the weekly liturgical songs. She also coordinated a fair trade Christmas shopping event at Ten Thousand Villages, to provide a living wage and dignity to global artisans. We’ve also gotten into Facebook, Scrabulous and Blokus this year.

Josiah is in kindergarten now, which he enjoys thoroughly. His main hobby this year has been building with LEGOs, especially Star Wars kits. The playroom train table is now covered with minifigures and vehicles galore, from A-wing to X-wing. For his sixth birthday we went to the Star Wars exhibit at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry.

Elijah is now two and is a happy and healthy toddler. He loves his Signing Time and Blue’s Clues DVDs. He has a vocabulary of at least a hundred signs and is also starting to vocalize words, including the whole alphabet. His therapists are happy that he is developing well, and he no longer needs physical therapy. Elijah had minor surgery to replace the PE tubes in his ears and to open his tear ducts. We were very pleased that his neurologist gave him a clean bill of health with no ongoing worries or concerns.

On to our annual book recommendations. In fiction: We both appreciated A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, author of The Kite Runner. Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants was an engaging historical read about life with a traveling circus. Ellen (who has been identified as a “warrior princess”) resonated with the soccer-mom-meets-Lord-of-the-Rings fantasies The Restorer and The Restorer’s Son by Sharon Hinck. She also read several Anita Shreve novels. Al was entranced with the “new” J. R. R. Tolkien book The Children of Hurin and got a kick out of superhero homage novel Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman. And of course we were both up into the wee hours of the morning to finish reading J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. (A blog post Al wrote about it ran as an article on ChristianityToday.com.)

In non-fiction: Microtrends by Mark Penn identifies fascinating new subcultures and cultural shifts. Al got into economic issues via The Small-Mart Revolution by Michael Shuman, The Travels of a T-Shirt in the Global Economy by Pietra Rivoli and The Sushi Economy by Sasha Issenberg. The World Without Us by Alan Wiseman explores what the planet would look like if people disappeared. One Red Paperclip is Kyle Macdonald’s amazing journey trading his way up from a paperclip to a house. Made to Stick by Chip Heath and Dan Heath shows why some ideas are sticky and others aren’t. The Myth of the Perfect Mother by Carla Barnhill is a healthy corrective to evangelical assumptions about motherhood, and Gary Thomas’s Sacred Marriage is likewise a helpful resource. Gifts: Mothers Reflect on How Children with Down Syndrome Enrich Their Lives is a moving compendium of real-life portraits. And The Making of Star Wars by J. W. Rinzler is a terrific behind-the-scenes look at the original film.

Most notable of this year’s religion books is D. Michael Lindsay’s Faith in the Halls of Power, an amazingly well-researched and comprehensive study of how evangelicals have become influential in elite circles of government, academia, arts/media and business. Kevin Vanhoozer’s Everyday Theology provides an introduction to cultural studies and theology of culture. Hanna Rosin’s God’s Harvard gives an inside look at Patrick Henry College’s conservative Christian subculture. David Kinnaman’s unChristian is a revealing portrait of negative perceptions of evangelical Christians. The Year of Living Biblically by A. J. Jacobs is a laugh-out-loud funny chronicle of one man’s attempt to follow the Bible as literally as possible. John Swinton’s Raging with Compassion is a pastoral reconsideration of suffering and evil. While not likely to appear on any bestseller lists, Theology and Down Syndrome by Amos Yong is a landmark contribution to disability studies and theology of disability. And two IVP books received starred reviews from Publishers Weekly – Tim Stafford’s Shaking the System on social reform movements and Gerald Sittser’s Water from a Deep Well on the history of Christian spirituality.

Our favorite children’s book this year is The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones; it’s a very thoughtful, kid-friendly narrative theology that’s engaging for parents as well. We were happy with Mo Willems’s new Elephant and Piggie series as well as his sequel Knuffle Bunny Too. Not a Box by Antoinette Portis and 365 Penguins by Jean-Luc Fromental were clever and fun. The Giant Leaf by Davy Liu is a surprising retelling of a familiar Bible narrative. Sometimes Smart Is Good by Dena Luchsinger is a bilingual story of disability and inclusion. And Josiah could not stop laughing when he first read the Sesame Street classic The Monster at the End of This Book.

That’s it for this year. The Lord bless you and keep you and grant you his peace. Shalom!